The End

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Winter Comes to Leslieville

Nothing like a huge dump of snow to make the place look nice.

Wow, a month since the last entry. In my defense, it's been a busy one. Of course there have been many Toronto FC games, but primarily, we've been doing a lot of apartment-hunting. I think we saw a total of 12 before finding the right one, (back yard shown above) and I'm happy to report we're vacating Woodmount Estates at the end of June. It'll be nice to have our own place again, especially for Suzanne - she's getting more pregnant every day, and wants to pad her nest. We're both looking forward to getting our own space, and we're absolutely buzzing about Baby Wallace. The due date is October 15th, and we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl. People keep asking and I keep saying I assume it's a human, and beyond that it's not much of a surprise either way. (Of course, if it is a girl we can always sell it and try again...!) I kid of course. Suzanne hates that joke. Anyway, these pictures are of the ultrasound. The one's kind of creepy to me...I always say it looks like a Zombie Baby - Suzanne hates that joke too - but the other one sums up how we feel about the whole thing. Thumbs up!

Saturday, April 28th was a magical day that will forever live on in history as the first home game for Toronto FC. In a previous post I think I discussed how important this team is to me; as a soccer fan growing up in a place where there was no local team to support, (the Lynx don't count...they just weren't good enough) I always had to look elsewhere. Those days are over.

Today, I officially renounce my 'support' for Liverpool FC. I will hope they do well, but there's only one team in my heart now, and besides; the day could come when we meet them in Global Cup Competition, and I don't want any fuzzy allegiances.

Saturday at BMO was simply awesome. The crowd were incredible, the team played well (for the most part) and although we didn't win and STILL haven't scored, every one of the 20,000 faces was beaming as we streamed out of the stadium.

May 12, bring on the Chicago Fire!

T-O!
T-O!
T-O 'til I die!

Suzanne was in Niagara Falls for the week at a convention for the Canadian film industry, and I joined her for the last day. We took a double-decker bus out to a theatre and watched an appalingly-bad soccer movie called 'Gracie'. Don't even think of seeing it.

For these pictures I pretended I was in London and showed my general displeasure at things. That sign in the other picture says 'No Scooters' so that's essentially why I was displeased.

I recently turned 33, or the 'triple-trey' as I call it, and the event was celebrated in style by my friends and I at Woodbine Racetrack in Rexdale. I hadn't been to the horseraces in ages, and having just read and abso-frigging-lutely loved Seabiscuit, Suzanne, in her wisdom, thought it would be fun to put some pennies on the ponies.

And fun it was. I plopped down a fiver on the longshot (to place) in the first race and she (or he) promptly romped home to a $38-winning second-place finish! That almost paid my betting for the remainder of the races and carried me through the next 8 winless contests. I won another $20 on the 9th, my number 4 narrowly pipping Fraser's 7, which sent him into a froth. But hey - you wins some, you loses some.

So if that was the low-brow (and by God I loved it) part of the birthday, Suzanne also arranged the high.

Backing up slightly, I decided fairly recently that I am finished with popular music. I haven't bought (or downloaded) any music to speak of lately, and the morning drives to work have cemented my utter loathing for the only passable radio station available. The 'morning show' is one dick joke after another, and it drives me completely batty.

So one day - maybe, 4 months ago? - I turned on the CBC, and I haven't turned it back. I happily discovered that I really enjoy classical music now. Maybe 33 is the magic age when one realizes that all that long-hair music is for hippies, and if there's no part for a bassoon it's not really music.

Nah, it's not really like that - I still consider Morrissey a true genius - but I'm glad to have an entire history of music to learn and explore now. And I'm really glad to have Tom Allen as my guide along the way. I sincerely believe that he could get anyone into classical music. His onomatopeiac descriptions of the upcoming or preceding music - played in short sections - really let you in and see what's going on.

I especially enjoy little piano things by Schubert and the violin-ing of Itzhak Perlman.

A few weeks ago, jumping back to the present, when I looked up the season's schedule for the Toronto Symphony Orchestra and saw that the Perlman was conducting, I told Suzanne that tickets would be a great birthday present from her mom, also a CBC-in-the-morning fan.

But didn't the sly girl go and buy them herself?

So on May 23rd, we go to Roy Thomson Hall to watch one of the greats (apparently) conduct his pupil and his daughter and the members of the assembled TSO, as they perform a Beethoven concerto and Tchaikovsky's 4th symphony. There will be no betting, but it'll be great.

Once again, Suzanne comes through in style on my birthday. She truly is a marvel.

Another winner! Wallace & Son secured custom from a far-off lover of pottery on Sunday. Bob and Audrey of Australia are now the proud owner of a 'rare and valuable piece of China'. This was what he or she called our little Daisy Bell tankard when they wrote to request that we pack the hell out of the thing, because Australian posties like to play cricket with packages apparently.

Got a funny question about this item from a potential bidder, actually. I would like to know, he said, what is the tankard made of? Is it all wood? I responded politely that it was in fact a piece of ceramic pottery, and took another hard look at my pictures. Could they be that ambiguous? Perhaps he was merely playing it safe. He must have been disappointed by the answer because he didn't bid.




After an encouraging first month, W & S Antiques decided to ramp up the selling, so we've loaded five new items for your consideration. That they all happen to be psychedelic or proto-punk LPs from the 60s is a coincidence. Although Chris Gallagher dubbed us Magical Mystery Records, it's merely a prelude to the selling flurry that's on the horizon. They won't all be records, but if you're interested in tuning in and dropping out or whatever it was that they did back then, I invite first to log on and bid.

p.s. no Blackbirds update this week. I missed my final 'suspended' game due to a scheduling error and it appears as if there was a scorer's error too. 11-0 against? That can't be right. Next Sunday I return to action and I 'll get the whole story then.

11-0? ...that's just silly.

On Tuesday night the FabulousSavings crew went out for an evening of fun dedicated to the hard-work of we, the employees. As was the case with the Christmas Party, the Upstairs in Charge of FabulousSavings blew it out, delivering us first - by giant Limo/Bus - to Yamato, the Yorkville Japanese restaurant of choice, then to a performance of the 'smash-hit musical' We Will Rock You.

The show was fine - I only liked Queen for one afternoon about ten years ago - but the dinner was incredible. It was one of those joints where the seats encircle the cooking surface, and the guy slices everything up and grills it before your eyes. The beef was marshmallow-tender and the shrimps were the size of Red Lobster lobster-tails. There must have been something in the sauce, because I got taken on a trip by this cooking. I was giddy, delirious and in some kind of trance as we got to the end. Thanks FabulousSavings, and you're welcome.

Upset! Not since the 1919 Sanford Memorial Stakes, when 'Man O' War' lost to the horse that gave his name to coin the phrase, has there been a bigger one. Sunday night, March 25th, Blackbirds actually won a game. I suppose it wasn't really that big of an upset; we were playing the second last team, but being so long since we've tasted victory, it's sweeter than I remember. And I wasn't even on the field! Still serving the suspension, I acted as Offensive Coordinator - keeping track of time and ordering line changes. Is it coincidence that we happened to score more goals that in any other game in recent Blackbirds history? I think so! But roll on Balckbirds, San Paolo's up next...let's see if we can't repeat the magic.



In Wallace & Son Antiques News, 'The Lamp', as predicted, did better than some around our camp expected. Again, there was a last minute flurry of activity, and we more than quintupled our reserve price. Not bad.

Next up is a charming little piece of pottery from the mid-30s. This wee gem is a Crown Devon Musical Tankard, and I think it was probably a little suggestive back in its day. Rumour has it that there are two more somewhere in the Newmarket Antiques Mall for $15 a piece, and that Grammy Gallagher has one too. I expect that this will be the first item to come in under $100, but we shall see.

The second eBay auction is complete, and was a bigger success than the first! Wallace & Son Antiques is an online-antique-auction-force to be reckoned with! The third item is now up for bids, and maybe I'm still flush from the excitment of the bidding war at the death of the tank auction, but I think this is going to surprise us.
It's a beautiful old lamp, and Wallace says it's from a yacht, while Son's taking a guess that it's a miner's lamp. In either case, my relative familiarity with the concept of 'keywords' and 'search engine optimization' means that the strange title of 'Brass Lamp - Yacht or Miners? Nautical or Safety?' means that anyone searching for 'brass lamp, yacht lamp, miners lamp, mine lamp, miner lamp, nautical lamp or safety lamp' will find it. I'm not surprised that at last check, 20 eBayers are watching this auction.

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In Blackbirds news, my indiscretion last week resulted in a 3-game suspension. So I'm out until the last game of the regular season. I've never been suspended for games before, so this is strange territory. I'm still going down to be with the boys on game nights, but it'll be strange watching from the sidelines. This episode has taught me a valuable lesson: if you're going to be suspended for violent conduct, make sure the conduct is REALLY violent. Don't waste it on a little shove...throw some Karate Kid crap in there and make it worth everyone's while.

The worst part about my soccer game last night was somehow getting rug burn on each of the four main joints. The one on my right elbow is especially annoying. Craig asked me if getting the red card wasn't the worst part of the game, but chicks dig it when you're ejected for violent conduct...it's like a black eye.

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The second WallaceandSon Antique is available on eBay for you Louis Marx & Co. collectors. It has a couple of bids so far and looks like it might perform as hoped. It's a wind-up toy tank from WWI. At least the tank is a WWI tank, I think the toy is from the 30s. I can't even imagine how scary it would be to see one of these things coming over the field and you in your little trench with a peashooter. Terrifying! But this little guy is a nice toy and would make a great Easter gift.


On the left is a picture of the real deal, rolling over a trench and possibly some poor Germans. On the right is the Jawa Sandcrawler, which bears more than a passing resemblance.

The Wallace and Son eBay Empire took a great leap forward today! Our first item sold at a handsome profit, and we eagerly await payment. That pistol had been around for a while, so there may be a little unspoken sadness, but we got a good price, and I think my dad and I both enjoyed the experience very much. May it be the first in a long line.

Also tonight, Blackbirds were in action at the Hangar. Like last week, we completely outplayed the opposition, and narrowly missed a dozen excellent chances. And as is the case so often in games like that, we got caught out once and lost 1-0. I was so incensed at the goal - they cheated on a player substitution and totally caught us napping - that moments after, when I got clipped collecting the ball, I momentarily lost my cool and confronted their striker. I was so mad that they had scored this cheap goal after being outplayed the whole frigging game (I'm still mad over it) that I just walked over to the guy and pushed him. I was rightly ejected, and will miss the next game under suspension. In fairness to me, he was really late and clipped me as I was picking up the ball, and as per the Unwritten Code, he deserved more than I gave him. But I miss the next game, and that sucks.

Whenever we're driving along a highway or a road somewhere and I see an old abondoned barn or farmhouse out in a field, I get the almost compulsive urge to just 'go through it'. Most of the time I'll say something to Suzanne like, 'Man, I just want to go through that building'. I say it about buildings we've passed a million times, and I never get out and do it, usually because the 400 isn't really a great place to park, but I love the idea.

So when this image of a streetcorner in the abondoned town of Bodie, California (above) appeared as the Wikipedia 'Picture of the Day' today, it got me to clicking. It turns out there are thousands of ghost towns in North America (6,000 in Kansas alone!) all just sitting there waiting for me to 'go through'. In Canada, the largest number of ghost towns is found in BC. There are some 1,500 abondoned settlements, mostly old logging and mining sites, but some fully realised towns like Barkerville (above), once the largest city north of San Francisco and west of Chicago.

In Ontario, the are close to 200, so I declare today that this summer, the coming, glorious Summer of 2007, will not only be the Summer of Toronto FC, but it will also be the Ghost Town Summer. To start, Suzanne and I drove out Highway 9 to just beyond Hwy. 50, and the former community of Ballycroy. An Irish place with a chopping mill, Ballycroy was known in the 1870s as a booming, if somewhat alcoholic, little town. Today, there is an ancient sign, a couple of old buildings that have been reclaimed, and a barbed wire fence that keeps visitors away from the real abandoned stuff. Maybe in the summer we'll make a trip back and hop the fence.

ain't but one kind of blues

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bidder! The auction action is heating up, and the Buck Rogers Atomic Pistol is causing quite a stir. To the potential bidder who inquired as to whether or not it was actually fired by Buck Rogers, I can confirm that it was. In fact, this gun - and his badge - was taken away from Buck near the end of his galactic career after an 'incident' at a space-bar on the wrong side of the system.

It seems Buck had downed a few pints of Pulsar, when a pair of Mongols came in and started slamming down some Pulsar of their own. It wasn't long before insults were thrown - 'You going home with Twiki tonight, Rogers?' - and Buck earned his reputation as a loose phaser.

So bid with confidence!

Today was a good one. I mentioned something in the last post about new business ventures, and today we made a little progress. See, my father is an antiques dealer. Every room in the house is filled with Old Things, and he's even built a little shop at the end of a lane on his property. On summer weekends he loads up the truck and sets out a stall in Rosseau. I had the wild idea that he should get some eyeballs on his gear in the offseason, so I suggested eBay. After some reluctance - he's a hands-on dealer - he agreed. He selected five items and it's my responsibility to get them sold. Today I got the first of the initial five up and running on the site. So if you like pre-70s vintage toys, perhaps I can interest you in a Buck Rogers Atomic Pistol?

Also tonight, our soccer team - Blackbirds - played Diesel, the top team in our league. We completely outclassed them from start to finish, and only a dubious penalty decision prevented our first win of the year. I've added a little updater on the right sidebar where you can keep up with our progress as we march to Downsview Park Men's League Sunday PM Division 4 glory.

I believe the correct term is 'shit-show'.

That describes the drive home from work today/night. Our office was abuzz with storm talk for much of the late morning and early afternoon, but it wasn't until the parking lot looked like Antarctica did they tell us to leave. So at 3:30 I left to pick up Suzanne. Three and a half hours later we arrived in Newmarket where I quickly sucked down four beers to loosen the ol' nerves. For much of the drive, there were no lanes and continually freezing wipers. We alternately sat in non-moving traffic and hydroplaned through deep snow. It's a very strange feeling when you depress the accelerator and the front of the car slides sideways and the back end stays put.

The weirdest part was when we were stuck on Lesmil, waiting for them to move an accident on the 401 onramp at Leslie, and there was this guy who came along in a really powerful looking Mustang. He tried to turn into a parking lot, but the combo of deep, thick snow, slight incline and rear wheel drive proved too much. He got stuck and couldn't go forward or back. He tried to rock it, but it just wasn't going anywhere. Eventually he got out and half-heartedly tried to swipe away snow from in front of the wheels with his windshield scraper, but he was buggered. All the while a completely immobile group of drivers just sat and watched him. I couldn't bear to, so I ran over and pushed the guy up the driveway. In the end, he changed his mind, backed out, drove off and didn't acknowledge me. I think he was stoned.

Thanks to Lynn and Alex for feeding us, and I hope you all made it home safely tonight, wherever you are.

After more than a month, The Wasp is reborn. I thought it might be nice to start fresh, so I've changed the layout a bit and freshened up the place with some colour. After having introduced my uncle Barry to the blogging concept, it seems that the student became the teacher, so expect to be flooded with witty and clever updates almost every day. These will begin soon with information on new business ventures and pictures of my incredible new hairdo.

Patience....patience....

I May Even Call It Football

That David Beckham is coming across the Atlantic to play for the Los Angeles Galaxy is some of the most exciting news I've ever heard in my life. Ever. As my friend Tim noted on his blog last week, this coming April sees Toronto FC begins its inaugural campaign in the MLS.

As a lifelong soccer fan, it's hard to put into words how much this team has already thrilled me. I first heard of Toronto FC (or Inter Toronto FC as it was rumoured to be called) when Suzanne and I were living in Vancouver and dreaming of coming back East. We had adopted the Whitecaps to a certain extent, and while I genuinely enjoyed going to their games, and I cheered their goals, it never really felt like my team. Which has been the problem all of my life: as a kid, when I first got into soccer, I chose Liverpool because my best friend was born in Warrington and he was a mad Red, but although I've followed them now for over 15 years - with admitted periods of indifference - they too have never felt like my own. When they came back from sure death in the Champions League final of 2005, I was happy, and the game was pure joy, but it didn't change me as it did true Liverpool fans. I was in Vancouver, watching a tape of the game by myself in the middle of the afternoon on a different continent.....how could it?

But when I heard that Toronto was getting a top-level franchise - the first expansion team outside the US - I flipped. I'd never really followed the MLS, but I knew it had been improving over the last ten years, even sending the odd player over to the Premiership.

So we dreamed of returning, and I began to use 'they're getting a really good soccer team' as my number one reason when people out there said, "What? Are you crazy? Why would you want to move back to Onscario?"



Of course I remember the Blizzard vividly - when I was younger I once spent the afternoon on the astroturf pitch training with the team's two goalkeepers, then spent the first half of the following game (opponent: Jacksonville Tea Men) selling giant team-photo buttons in the concourse - but I was to small to follow the sport, and the team folded within two years.

Suzanne and I recently watched 'Once In A Lifetime: The Extraordinary Story of The NY Cosmos', the documentary that chronicles the rise and fall of North American soccer's greatest ever team. At the end of the 70s, as went the Cosmos, so did the NASL. When Pele joined, their popularity exploded, and when he retired, so did the league.

But now it's different; MLS has learned from the mistakes of the NASL and appears to be looking good. The Beckham transfer is a move by the league as a whole, not one team. There is a LOT of money involved of course, and only time will tell if it was worth it. But for now, my heart tells me its going to work out and I can't wait to see ol' Goldenballs play in the summer.

We bought season's tickets the week before Beckham made his announcement. At that time Toronto FC had sold 6000+ Club Membership packages: two weeks later that number is approaching 10,000. For a stadium that only holds 20,000 it's an incredible achievement, and for season's ticket sales we're only second in the league to LA.

So when they come here, I'm going to cheer for David Beckham. I even hope he scores against us with a free kick. Of course, at that point, we hope to be leading by 4 or 5 goals, but still. As a lifelong soccer fan, it would be a real highlight. Summer 2007 is going to be filled with them.